Attack on Bill Trinen
by TheChaosEmeralds
Summary: When Masahiro Sakurai of Sora Ltd. asks young Eduardo and other famous youtube/twitter users to help assist him alongside the Smash Bros characters in an all out war against Bill Trinen, an adventure starts for the great heroes. Who shall win? The mighty Bill Trinen and his Nintendumbass army? Or Sakurai, the good guys, and the Smash bros characters! It's time for a FREE FOR ALL!
1. Chapter 1 - Sakurai and Bill

One day Masahiro Sakurai was working inside the Namco Bandai studio, preparing the latest entries in the Super Smash Bros. franchise for completion and release. Everyone in the world was eagerly awaiting the games, because who doesn't want to blast other players away with the famous Mega Man, or the speedy blue hedgehog Sonic, or the boxing champ Little Mac? All these plus other memorable Nintendo characters in one place, just for the sole purpose of duking it out? What is there NOT to love? Other than Brawl never mention that diarrhea dump ever again. Sakurai marched over to a Namco employee and proceeded to ask, "how's the character art for Reggie going?" The employee replied with a grin that things were going quite smoothly, and that his body was nearly ready. How great! The games were coming along well, and life was good. Until suddenly, a white man walked through a door in front of him. Sakurai's body filled with intense rage!

It was Bill Trinen, the evil, most diabolical mastermind behind the anti-Nintendo movement that he runs, while secretly working as a spy at Nintendo America. His plans all along were to find Reggie's motives in life, and prevent them from coming to life. Of all people, Sakurai was the only one who knew about this. The only reason he never told anyone is because he is a master troll, and is planning a surprise attack when the time is right. Yay.

"Hello, Mr. Masahiro Sakurai. How is your day coming along?" Bill asked.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS," Sakurai stated in his best Gandalf impression. Bill stared confused and blinked, then just shrugged and proceeded to walk past the asian man. Sakurai wasn't taking no shits today though, and transformed into a Samurai and wrapped up Bill in a net and bitch slapped him. Then he took a selfie of him giving the bowing while Bill's nose bled. Bill yelled out in agony.

"Why, Masahiro-san? I'm DYING IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT!"

"Because I'm a Super Smash Brother, bitch." Sakurai dragged Bill downstairs and kicked him to the curb. The day went on as the employees continued their hard work on Smash 4.

* * *

Eduardo was walking down the street of Twitterland. Looking around at all the billboards reading funny messages, he pulled out his trusty mind and wrote a message himself, asking Cobanermani456 if they could engage in a few matches in Project M. Cobi agreed seeing as he was about to ask Eduardo the same question, coincidentally. Or was it? Suddenly, his notifications filled up with favorites, retweets and replies. But... why, all of a sudden? He quickly ran to the scene, only to find that he was contacted by MASAHIRO SAKURAI HIMSELF. He rushed to Google Translate to find out what the man said. The message, once translated to Engrish, read:

"Dear Eduardo,

It is my honor to ask you if you would like to join the anti-Bill Trinen army, and you can fight alongside your favorite Smash Bros. character. We need as many reinforcements as we can get, so we hope you'll accept. Thank you for your time, young Smasher. We see great potential in you.

P.S. SUPEERRRRRRRRR SMASH BROTHERSSSSSSSSSSSS MEELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Eduardo said to himself, "holy shit" and then instantaneously wrote back to Sakurai. He couldn't wait to kick ass and take names, not to mention play the games. And with Villager. Bill was in some serious shit. Things were starting up, and it would be glorious. Half a day later, Eduardo was booked to head to the Namco Bandai studio, with a flight. But first. Reinforcements.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Assembling

A week later a bunch of people were assembled in a secret base that clearly said, "SAKURAI'S SECRET HIDEOUT DON'T LOOK IN HERE ALSO NO BILLS ALLOWED". Everyone was sitting down in some comfy chairs and socializing about why in the hell they are even there. Moments later they heard a voice over the microphone.

"Hello, everyone. I am Masahiro Sakurai of Sora Ltd." Everyone stared.

"YEAH, WE CAN TELL, MEESTUR CHINEE," yelled out a guy wearing a shirt of Tails the Fox. Sakurai was not amused.

"And that's why we don't allow more Sonic characters in Super Smash Brothers." The guy shamefully put his head down and cursed to himself.

"So much for tailschannel..."

"Anyway. I take it you have all been informed on why you are here?" Sakurai asked. Everyone blinked, confused. "...Oh. Well allow me to explain." Sakurai walked over to his computer and somehow he made a Nintendo Direct ahead of time. He pressed play, and it started out with showing pretty morbid slideshows of Bill Trinen getting beat up by various Nintendo employees.

"Man, fuck that guy," said Eduardo. Sakurai smiled and gave him a thumbs up and bowed.

"This is Bill Trinen. He is a threat to not only Smash Brothers, but Nintendo in general. I have gathered the finest twitter users in this one place to hopefully bring him to an end. Any questions so far?"

A black dude with a shirt of a black Mario jumped up. "DO I GET TO BE PARTNERS WITH MARIO AND THROW FIREBALLS AND FLY WITH A CAPE FEATHER AND EVEN RIDE YOS-"

"YES! Yes, Mr. PkSparkxx you will be able to do that and more... just please, calm down." Sakurai answered. "Bill is currently in the Nintendo of USA's HQ secretly looking for the titan-ium. It will transform him into a massive titan version of himself, and we cannot allow his plans to flourish!"

"Could just call Goku. He could Kamehameha his ass back t-"

"NO. NO. NO. I am a huge anime fanboy you don't even know the true power of Sakurai the otaku but Nintendo will not allow me to associate with anime characters. Gay as fuck too, we'd have this in the bag." Sakurai said. The random Miiverse user sat down sadly.

"Do a satanic ritual with Super Mario Galaxy 2 disks, and have the demons pull Bill down into hell," a person named Juan said. Everyone laughed.

"Damn. Too bad I already burned those pieces of shit games. That was a good idea, Juan."

"How about we all look for Smash Balls, combine them, and you hit it and transform into Super Sakurai." Auston suggested.

"BADASS. LET'S DO THAT." Sakurai said incredibly impressed. Everyone cheered, ready to begin the search. Suddenly Mewtwo walked into the room and was very pissed off.

"WHY AM I NOT IN SMASH." Mewtwo asked angrily. Sakurai snapped his fingers in a Greninja call, and sure enough the water Pokemon hopped down in front of him.

"Slip me some tongue, Mewtwo." Greninja demanded. Mewtwo made a 'WTF?' face and slapped him. Greninja used both his hands to rip open Mewtwo's mouth and he shoved his tongue down his throat, effectively choking him to death. Lucario just watched.

"Damn. That sure beats the power of aura," Lucario muttered. Another black guy got up and walked over to Lucario and hugged him.

"I wuv you sooo much African Goku," Cobi said lovingly. Lucario barfed and walked away to find some KFC. Everyone was clearly mindfucked, and they were all dismissed for the day. Little did they know, a man just arrived outside the secret base. His body was small, weak, and fragile. He was holding a Nintendo 3DS XL hoping to find a streetpass, but every time he only received messages saying, "LOLOLOLOL #FUCKBILLTRINEN." Bill Trinen was at the end of his rope. He was no longer taking any shits.

"You see at Nintendo we don't take shits from Asians."

* * *

DUN DUN DUN...


End file.
